It seems wrong, somehow, to write up a post that talks about how much weight I've lost but not include pictures. You have to understand, dear Reader, that everything is packed. (Not that we're moving. It's just that I don't have the heart to unpack. Because we're not moving. Because we can't sell the house. And yes, my husband is still in Portland, Oregon. And as of tomorrow he will have been gone A YEAR.)
I can recall the existence of a few totally HIDEOUS pictures of me that were taken when I was 83 pounds heavier and I'll have to search for them. Mostly, at that time, I threatened anyone and everyone with immediate death if they took pictures of me, so there really aren't but one or two shots of me from that time.
In the meantime, you'll just have to take my word for it.
I hesitate to give exact figures because... well... that's just difficult for me to do, but I don't mind giving BMI figures because that's less personal and, after all, it's not like I'm telling you my weight! :)
When I was at my heaviest two years ago, my BMI was 32.7.
That's really pretty high.
(FYI -
Here's a really good site that discusses calorie usage, BMI and such.
Also here's another BMI related site.)
Anyhow, according to everything, a BMI of 32.7 is "obese."
At that weight, I was actually only about 16 pounds away from being "severely obese."
It showed not only on my frame, but also in my blood tests. More on that in a second.
At this point, I'm at a BMI of 18.8. One of those sites call this BMI "underweight" but it's not. Other sites discuss how a BMI from 18.5 and up is normal. But I'm not paying a whole lot of attention, because I was also trying to lose weight not just to get slimmer but also to normalize my abnormal blood test results. The two goals are very separate.
I'm in my early 30s, so to have abnormal blood tests (for which the Dr wanted to medicate me!) scared me half to death. There are diabetes, cancer and heart disease in my family, so three years ago when my blood tests were:
2004 Blood Tests
Total Cholesterol: 206 (normal 100-199)
Triglycerides: 252 (normal 0-149)
HDL: 37 (normal 40-59)
LDL: 119 (normal 0-99)
Triglycerides / HDL: 6.8 (ratio should be less than 2)
HDL / total cholesterol: .179 (normal should be greater than .24)
I was stunned.
I had performed these blood tests courtesy of State Farm, who was trying to figure out whether or not I was going to die within the next 20 years, statistically speaking. I had not anticipated such awful numbers.
I trolled the internet looking for information and found out that I met 3 out of 5 of the "Metabolic Syndrome" indicators, which meant that I had "Metabolic Syndrome":
Metabolic Syndrome
1.) A waist measurement of more than 35 inches for women (for men it's greater than 40) ~ check
2.) Triglycerides greater than 150 (wow, did I ever meet THAT requirement in spades!)
3.) HDL less than 40 (check!)
4.) Blood pressure greater than 130/85 (mine was getting close)
5.) Fasting blood sugar greater than 100 (thankfully, this was the only one where I was okay, since diabetes is incredibly strong in my family).
But I had three out of five of the indicators and I was a stone's throw away from having four. I officially had Metabolic Syndrome, which meant that I was at an increased risk for diabetes and heart disease, which are both strong in my family's line. At THIRTY!!! Yikes!!
This was a severe wake up call... but I had no idea what to do about it. To say that normal everyday doctors don't help you figure out how to really, truly handle these problems is an understatement. They wanted to put me on cholesterol-lowering medication (the 29 year old P.A. that talked to me is on it herself and told me how it was "no big deal!") but these sorts of medications, of course, come with possible side-effects, get metabolized through the liver, etc., and I didn't want any part of it.
But I was stuck, because the only diet in my life that had EVER worked for me was the Atkins diet. Every time I had a baby, I had to use Atkins in order to come even remotely close to losing the extra pounds. I would literally eat bacon and cream cheese, like a good little Atkins girl, because I had to do the "fat fast for the Fat Fast" since it was so dadgum hard to lose weight (if you've ever been a faithful Atkins diet book reader, you'll know what I'm talking about). So I would dutifully nurse my block of cream cheese throughout the day, knowing that it was all I could do to lose the weight. I look back on that now and just shudder.
But you cannot nurse a block of cream cheese all day long if you have insanely high cholesterol. Oh sure, I bought the garbage in the Atkins books about how eating bacon and cream cheese was actually good for your heart, but as I did research I found that all the other health studies showed that animal products are insanely bad for you -let alone bacon and cream cheese - and that vegetables and fruits are what are good for you. But I was in despair, for how could I possibly ever lose weight on fruits and vegetables when everyone KNOWS that carbs are bad and make you gain weight?
I had twelve years of Atkins dieting brain that I had to reprogram. And it took a LOOOOOOOOONG time.
I will say that the first 5 pounds was very easy to lose by doing not a whole lot. I think I caught a cold and then a stomach flu or something from my kids and between those one day I stepped on the scale, noticed some pounds were missing, and felt a tiny sense of joy and hope. It's absolutely amazing what a little weight loss feels like in the beginning, because when you think of how much you want to lose, the very idea of it was overwhelming. At that point, I was 63 pounds heavier than I had been in high school and college and even when I was working at a career full time (it's so much easier to pile on the pounds as a stay-at-home-mom. Life is so stressful and it's like- - I'll kill you if you come between me and that plate of cookies, I swear I will!)
So at that point, I just wanted to lose the 63 pounds that would get me back to what I considered normal. Never, ever, in my wildest dreams did I think that I could make it... and if you'd told me that I could make it and surpass it I would have laughed out loud at you. And then probably eaten a whole stack of Oreos out of despair. (Which would bring up a whole 'nother thing about sugary food addictions, but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.)
At that time, I was on the phone frequently with a dear, sweet soul that for some reason has stopped blogging. She, also, was trying to stay away from sugar and eat well (though she didn't need to lose weight and has a totally darling figure) and she discussed with me different tactics she was using to increase her health. She had a juicer and she juiced fresh vegetables and fruits, often in combination, and pointed me in the direction of some websites that discussed it.
Since I was aiming for a total reversal of blood test problems AND weight loss, and since my dieting background (a la Atkins) was always extreme, I grasped onto juicing and held on tight. I bought a juicer (thankfully, from Williams Sonoma so that when I hated the juicer because of a multitude of its juicer sins I was allowed to return it because Williams Sonoma is a totally awesome store and they stand behind their products) and dove right in.
Success! Well, and failure. The success was that I started losing weight. The failure was that I was ALWAYS HUNGRY. Fresh juice, while really healthful and good for you, kept me from being voraciously starving for all of a half hour or so... and, of course, since I'm used to dieting extremes I had to go all out and pretty much "juice fast." I'm sure that if you incorporate jucing into a wonderful diet regimen you would have a much easier time of it but, again, all I am is dieting extremes.
But I was losing weight!! And it was much better to lose weight by juicing than it was to lose weight with a daily block of cream cheese. So more success than failure, especially since "juice fasting" really helped me reset what I craved. The juice helped me increase my tastes for fruits and vegetables, since those had never, ever been anything I cared about in the past. And now, all of a sudden I was juicing produce I'd never even heard of, let alone eaten before!
I was doing all of my shopping in the produce section of the grocery store- and I usually just walked on past that stuff. So the juicing part of my diet journey really did help set the stage for where I ended up, because if I hadn't begun juicing I never would have ended up losing weight the way I have been for a year. Juicing helped me begin to break some of my food addictions (bread/sugar/chocolate) and gave me a framework to keep looking for a healthful diet that I could lose weight on. Prior to juicing and Jeni, I had no hope.
Tune in next time, when I go from juicing to what I'm doing now! :)
Hints:
Disease Proof - the Eat to Live Website
_____________________________________________________
Oh, and for those who may read this who are at the beginning of their weight loss journey, I wanted to include the following:
I think it's pretty notable that, even after losing 83 pounds, I can see a difference in myself but, to me, it's not that much. I will not say that I still think I am fat, for I do not think that I am still "fat" or "overweight." I'm not quite sure what I thought I'd look like after losing a lot of weight, but I think that, even when we lose weight, our inherent bodily flaws are still there.
After the weight loss, I still have the flabby kangaroo extra-skin pouch and the stretch mark remains on my tummy. That's always the part that I've hated. I've given birth to six children and one set was triplets who were polyhydramnios (way too much extra fluid - and just in case you're new to my blog, they didn't survive for long after birth) and so my entire abdominal area took a SEVERE beating. From the emergency c section (hip to hip, that was closed with SIX STAPLES) to the total trashing of my stomach muscles and skin, I suppose I figured that losing weight would help make that area less... I don't know... gross and scary. It has not worked out that way.
So the lesson I've learned that I would like to try to pass on-- inherent bodily flaws are STILL THERE for me, even after profound weight loss.
Baa, humbug. I'll get back to blogging eventually. And guess what?! I'm beginning to eat healthy again, too. Not today, unless Creme'Brulee and chocolate chips are healthy, but I'm getting there, and I'm anxious to hear the rest of your story and see you--forget pictures, when are you coming up? :)
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Wow, you're amazing! Way to go!
And btw - belly scars? They're scars of honor...show them off with pride, m'dear.
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Islam tolerates the killing of innocents because:
Muslims can be terrorists
Muslims engage in `holy wars' (jihad)
Islam spread by the sword
it has a harsh and cruel judicial system
This misconception is one of the most widely held misconceptions about Islam today. And yet in the Qur'an, the Creator unambiguously states (translation),
[17:33 - Nor take life - which Allah has made sacred - except for just cause. And if anyone is slain wrongfully, we have given his heir authority (to demand retaliation or to forgive): but let him not exceed bounds in the matter of taking life, for he is helped (by the Law)
Based on this verse, it is Islamically unlawful to murder anyone who is innocent of certain crimes. It is well to remember at this point the distinction made above between Qur'an and Sunnah, and the Muslims: only the Qur'an and Sunnah are guaranteed to be in accordance with what the Creator desires, whereas the Muslims may possibly deviate. Hence, if any Muslim kills an innocent person, that Muslim has committed a grave sin, and certainly the action cannot be claimed to have been done "in the name of Islam."
It should be clear, then, that "Muslim terrorist" is almost an oxymoron: by killing innocent people, a Muslim is commiting an awesome sin, and Allah is Justice personified. This phrase is offensive and demeaning of Islam, and it should be avoided. It is hoped that as the general level of public awareness and understanding of Islam increases, people will keep "terrorism" and "Islam" separate from each other, not to be used in the same phrase.
Another reason advanced in support of the misconception is that the Creator has imposed `jihad' on us. The term "holy war" is from the time of the Crusades and originated in Europe as a rallying cry against the Muslims in Jerusalem. Jihad is an Arabic word meaning struggle, but in the context of many verses in the Qur'an, it carries the meaning of military struggle, or war. Allah gradually introduced the obligation of military struggle to the Muslim community at the time of the Messenger (saas). The first verse ever revealed in that connection is as follows (translation),
[22:39 - Permission (to fight) is given to those upon whom war is made because they are oppressed, and most surely Allah is well able to assist them;
This verse lays down the precondition for all war in Islam: there must exist certain oppressive conditions on the people. The Creator unequivocally orders us to fight oppression and persecution, even at the expense of bloodshed as the following verse shows (translation),
[2:190-192 - And fight in the cause of Allah with those who fight with you, and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits. And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter, and do not fight with them at the Sacred Mosque (in Makkah) until they fight with you in it, but if they do fight you, then slay them; such is the reward of the unbelievers. But if they desist, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. And fight with them until there is no persecution, and religion should be only for Allah, but if they desist, then there should be no hostility except against the oppressors.
As one might imagine, the method of military struggle has been clearly and extensively defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Since this subject is a huge one, we simply summarize part of it by noting that it is unlawful to kill women, children, the infirm, the old, and the innocent. From the Sunnah, specifically in the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find:
[4:52:257 - Narrated 'Abdullah: During some of the Ghazawat of the Prophet a woman was found killed. Allah's Apostle disapproved the killing of women and children.
A related misconception to jihad is often propagated by Muslims who say that "Jihad is only for self-defense of physical borders." The Qur'an and Sunnah refute this notion categorically. As the verses cited above show, jihad is obligatory wherever there is injustice, and Muslims need not acknowledge imaginary lines around the earth when it comes to upholding this obligation. The Messenger of Allah (saas) has also commented on this extensively in the Sunnah. From the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find that,
[4:52:65 - Narrated Abu Musa: A man came to the Prophet and asked, "A man fights for war booty; another fights for fame and a third fights for showing off; which of them fights in Allah's Cause?" The Prophet said, "He who fights that Allah's Word (i.e. Islam) should be superior, fights in Allah's Cause."
Hence, the Creator obligates us to fight wherever people are being grossly deprived of freely hearing or practicing the Message of Allah as contained in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Sayyed Qutb, a famous Muslim scholar eloquently discusses the notion of jihad and self-defense in his book Milestones,
"If we insist on calling Islamic jihad a defensive movement, then we must change the meaning of the word `defense' and mean by it `defense of man' against all those elements which limit his freedom. These elements take the form of beliefs and concepts, as well as of political systems, based on economic, racial, or class distinction."
A third reason often cited for the misconception about Islam which says that this way of life tolerates the killing of innocents is that the judicial system of Islam is unnecessarily harsh. This reason is weak in two respects. First, it presupposes that human beings are more just and more merciful than the Creator, and therefore we can change the law. Second, it is often based on gross oversimplifications of Islamic law, such as saying "all thieves get their hands cut off."
The Qur'an and Sunnah make it clear that the law of retaliation (or equality) governs us for murder and physical injury, but forgiveness is better as the following verses from the Qur'an show (translation),
[2:178 - O you who believe! the law of equality is prescribed to you in cases of murder: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the woman for the woman. But if any remission is made by the brother of the slain, then prosecution (for the bloodwit) should be made according to usage, and payment should be made to him in a good manner; this is an alleviation from your Lord and a mercy; so whoever exceeds the limit after this he shall have a painful chastisement.
[42:40-43 - The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) loves not those who do wrong. But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress men and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice: for such there will be a grievous penalty. And whoever is patient and forgiving, these most surely are actions due to courage.
The Creator ordained the law of retaliation on us knowing full well that we might question it. In many non-Muslim societies today, there are ongoing debates about the death penalty. In Islam, this discussion is moot: the Creator has decided the matter for us. He has however given us an interesting verse in the Qur'an which advises to consider the matter carefully if we want to understand it (translation follows),
[2:179 - And there is life for you in (the law of) retaliation, O people of understanding, that you may guard yourselves.
Most people are also unaware of the stringent conditions which must be met for the law of retaliation to be applicable. The Sunnah is full of examples of the Messenger of Allah showing us when the law's preconditions were fulfilled. For example, a thief is only liable to lose his or her hand if the item stolen exceeds a certain value, and if it is proven that the item was taken from its normal resting place. Stealing food is not punishable by the loss of one's hand, and other items are exempt as well. This is just an example of how gingerly the law is applied in Islam.
Finally, another reason advanced for this prevalent misconception is that Islam `spread by the sword'. It should be clear by now that we must always distinguish between the Qur'an and Sunnah and the Muslims when it comes to determining what the Creator has asked of us. Allah has stated clearly in the Qur'an (translation),
[2:256 - There is no compulsion in religion; truly the right way has become clearly distinct from error; therefore, whoever rejects Satan (and what he calls to) and believes in Allah, he indeed has laid hold on the firmest handhold, which shall not break off, and Allah is Hearing, Knowing.
Hence, it is impossible to accept Islam under duress. Even if misguided Muslims were to try to `force' Islam somehow on others, it would not be accepted by the Creator based on this verse.
Historical arguments that try to demonstrate that Muslims did not `convert others by force' are actually secondary to the argument given above. However, it is worth noting that historically, Islam did spread by peaceful means. The Message of the Creator was conveyed to Africa and to southeast Asia by trading Muslims, and today the largest Muslim country in the world is Indonesia. The military expeditions that led to the conquest of large swathes of territory in Europe and central Asia were all marked by tolerance of other creeds and faith.
Again, it is important to remember that Allah declares it IMPOSSIBLE that Islam can be forced on a person, hence Muslims find it useless to try
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Most people from country do that and Jess is one of them, so remember that.
One interesting thing I have just recognized about that Jess has a Mercedes Benz SL500. That is a one nice car out there and she can be proud of herself while driving it. I mean I would. This is not a girls' car. In fact, I think that baby should only a man ride. But anyway, I am very happy she has that vehicle in her garage. I hope she will get sometimes a new one. It is just I want to write her a letter to refuse from SL500 and give it to me, but I don't think she can agree somehow.
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Would you like to read this quote from her? Oh, it is too late, here it goes. "I had doors slammed in my face as a 14-year-old because my boobs were too big."- said http://dorismarplayboyvc.tumblr.com>dorismar playboy while she was auditioning for curvaceous Christian pop star. This wasn't surprising much as I can imagine what kind of boobs she had while she was only 14. Just look at http://ashleytisdalenudedf.tumblr.com>ashley tisdale nude now and you will be amazed for sure. This girl was eating a lot of beans I guess or the fact that she lived not in the city where air is dirty has played its own role and brought its benefits. I believe in those things and there are probably many that kind of girls who have bit tits and live in some village out there and they should understand me saying that.
Of course, many people are jealous to her because of that big breast, but they should know that it was very hard for her to drag those babies when she was younger. In fact I can bet that she still has some problems with her back. It just bends under the weight of her babies and there is nothing to do.
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