Jo's Boys

True Story

So we had our First Ever Showing this afternoon.

That is to say, for the First Time Ever a realtor brought a client to my house to look at the house to see if they would like to buy it.

It was eventful.

Below, please find the real, honest, true email that I emailed to my realtor after I came back to my house after my house's First Ever Showing:

Hey There (Sweet Realtor),

Okay, so my house WAS clean BEFORE the showing!!!

Gross out time... get this...

I come home after the showing and you will NEVER BELIEVE what I find.

Okay, well, you have to do this in real life all the time so maybe you can guess what I find.

There was POO, a crusted pile of POO in the upstairs bathroom toilet ~ the bathroom that (Mr. Jo's Boys) and I are using! 

I think I know what happened. 

A neighborhood kid told me that there were two ladies and a kid walking up to the house (which means there was the Realtor and then a lady and her kid).  That the kid was a little boy about five or six years old.  So I'm thinking that the kid pooed in the toilet but that since he's so small the poo ended up in the ~ shall we say ~ shallow end of the toilet and it didn't flush correctly or whatever.... ewwwwwwwww....

In addition to the crusted poo there was shredded toilet paper all over the bathroom and the kid pulled out the flowers from their vase... ewwwww... he trailed shredded toilet paper down the hallway... ewwwwwww.... he tried to wash his hands but left puddles across the countertop... ewwwwww.... the Mom must have been totally oblivious or something.... ewwwwwww...

I BLEACHED THE HELL out of that nasty bathroom (twice!) and then covered it in a layer of rubbing alcohol.... eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww.....

The curtains had been ripped off of the french doors in the bedroom (they tried to put them back up correctly but failed) and there were hand and face prints and mouth prints all over the glass (ewwwwwww...)

They also stood out on the porch downstairs for a looooooong time and looked around (there were hand prints and MOUTH PRINTS on all the glass!!  Ewwwwww....)

Just wanted to tell you!! 

If I had to tow around some lady and her nasty six year old boy all over the place all day long I would freaking kill someone!!!!!  Way to go to you patient realtors who have to cope with that.  Taking small children along on house hunting trips should be ILLEGAL!!!  LOL!!!!

(And I'm not mad ~ now that the bathroom has been restored to its former splendor I think it's sort of funny ~ but does this happen all the time?  Do you come home from your house being shown to crusted poo in the toilet, toilet paper shredded everywhere, your curtains torn down, your flowers molested and hand and mouth prints on all your windows and sliding glass doors????  EEEEEEeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOL!!!!)

Is that not the grossest thing EVER!?!??!!? 

Tell me, people.  Tell me if you have gone house-hunting and taken a kid with you.  If said kid had pooed in a toilet, would you have made sure that the kid had at least left the area semi-clean?  And would you let said kid leave hand, mouth and face prints all over all the windows and sliding glasss doors in the house?? 

EEEEEeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww......................

Wow.

Just.  Wow.

Okay, folks.  Once again we're here to play "house of the day that the Jo's Boy's family will not be buying when they get out to the Portland metro area:"

Can't make me.

Can you BELIEVE this picture was posted on a real estate website promoting this property????

Portland

Oh, forgot to say that Portland looks like it might be back on the table.  I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, Mr. Jo's Boys and I have been plastered to the internet, looking at houses all the way across the world. 

Now, please let me say that we have probably looked at more than a thousand houses online, thanks to the MLS being on the internet and all.  And, of course, there have been truly ugly and hideous houses, or beautiful houses, or houses that seem nice but have ugly rooms... you know, the whole nine yards. 

So I have decided to share highlights with you guys, since you're not going through the pain of searching for a house.

We won't be buying the house that contains this bathroom:

Just to let you know. 

By the way, Dy...

... remember when you blogged about how you were painting walls and the paint just seemed to sort of melt down the wall after you painted?

Well, that happened to me, also, except with doors and not the walls.  Thankfully, the walls have behaved, but the doors had this funky melting thing going on.  It was horrid and ugly and couldn't really be mended.

So then I thinned the paint with a whole lot of water, and it stopping melting on the door.  I guess the paint was too thick.   Did you ever get your paint-melting issue solved?